The Process Of Getting Over Myself
by Madame Puddifoot
Summary: You know what she told me? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter."
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)

Rating: PG

Summary: "You know what she told me??? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter." James tries different approaches to get Lily to like him.

A/N: This story is just supposed to be a little fun. I'm not sure whether or not I want to continue with this. I have a bad reputation on that front, so for now this is just going to be a one shot. And if I do decide to continue, you'd have to wait for three weeks. I'm heading for France on Monday on summer exchange so I'm not sure how much I'll get done. Anyways, just read the story!

Disclaimer: Mine???? Surely you jest.

**The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)**

I don't believe it! What is wrong with that woman?!? For the last six years, I've been pining after her, saving her from the clutches of Slytherin and doing everything I can to impress her. Take today for example, I mean I only hexed Nott because he was looking at her the wrong way. But oh no, she's the only person who can't accept my explanation for what it truly is, which is…er…the truth! She seems to think I did this all just for the fun of it, so you know what she tells me…she tells me to get over it. GET OVER IT!! As if I could, I mean how stupid could she be. If I could just get over it, as she so pleasantly puts it, you think I would've stopped after she got me with that Bat Bogey Hex that lasted for two weeks in third year. You try walking around for two weeks looking as though Snape had tried to give you a permanent makeover, I'm sure any other normal person would have given up long ago.

But I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter. I am the first Head Boy ever, who did not serve at least one term as prefect. I am captain of the Quidditch team which has won the House Cup for the last three years. And I'm a Gryffindor. Enough said. Not to mention, that I am dashingly good-looking with those soft brown eyes which mesmerize women and endearing black hair that just makes you want to run your hands through my silky soft hair. And if you don't believe that, you've either been spending too much time with Sirius or you-know-who. No, not You-Know-Who, I mean the other one…Lily Evans.

Now that I think about it, Evans didn't exactly say to get over her. Which means she must like me on her…right??? She said to get over it. Now what exactly is this "it." Why must women be so unspecific. I know after 17 years of living with my parents that "I'm fine" really means "I'm not fine, why the bloody hell else would I be sitting in my night gown eating half a gallon of double chocolate chunk ice cream?" If they just said what they meant, a whole lot of things would be loads better. Heck, even Remus agrees with me and when he agrees you know you're right.

Someone should tell Evans this. But I can only come to one conclusion after listening to her tell me to get over it. She obviously wants me to try to get her to like me more. Isn't it obvious? But if she thinks I've been trying to get her to hate me she's severely mistaken. My charm and wit must not be enough. It is now to bring out the big guns. To use what I've held back until absolutely necessary.

Mystery. I must pretend as though I don't even know that she exists.

* * *

The Plan failed miserably. The next morning I went up to her and said "No Lily, you are wrong, it is you who must get onto it"

She just looked at me as though I was Mrs. Norris and said "what?"

I, of course, merely arched my eyebrow in what was bound to be a sexy, yet intriguing, gesture which was supposed to exude the essence of a "come hither."

Evans of course, missed all of this as she turned back to Figg and asked her if she thought two rolls of parchment was enough for the Potions essay. Yet I kept to my decision. For the rest of the day, I ignored her royally I must say. Sirius asked if I had ate the Pumpkin Pasty that had been under his bed since fifth year. Remus and Peter offered to accompany me to the hospital wing and even McGonagall held me back after class to ask if anything was wrong, her excuse was that I was actually paying attention to her instead of Evans.

But of course the only person who doesn't notice is Evans herself. Must find new strategy and must find it quickly. It's October, I've only got until June to convince Lily Evans to fall in love with me!!!

A/N: Fin! Review please!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Title: The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans) 

Rating: PG

Summary: "You know what she told me??? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter." James tries different approaches to get Lily to like him.

A/N: This is Madame Puddifoot speaking, formerly known as lilygurl88, I changed my penname I got sick of the other one. I'm back from France! It was loads of fun although I'm not going to bore you with the details. This chapter is unbetaed since I felt bad for not posting this up sooner, but hopefully my dear beta reader can find it in her heart to forgive me. Enjoy! And please review I always contemplate to abandon my fics when I don't get any feedback. Sad, I know, but true.

Disclaimer: Mine???? Surely you jest.

**The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)**

**Chapter 2**

To be honest last weeks plan was a complete failure. I must have done something wrong, although I'm not exactly sure what. It is obvious that there is no way I'll be able to figure this out by myself. Therefore, I have taken it upon my genius to enlist my best friends to help me out, Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail.

According to Padfoot I'm a lost cause. His exact words were, "James, you prat, you'll never convince Lily you might as well give up while you still can." You know, for my best friend he really isn't all that encouraging.

When I asked Wormtail he wasn't exactly in a position to answer as he was too busy eating one of the Pumpkin Pasties that has been under Sirius' bed since Fifth Year. You would think he'd notice all the mold.

Of course, the only real help that I got came in the form of Moony. According to him, I have to get Evans at least a little interested in me before I play the mystery game. And then everything will just be a 'piece of cake.' Sometimes I wonder where he gets this terminology from.

Remus also mentioned that the way to get Evans interested in me is to be nice to her. Compliment her on things no one else notices and what not. Also, conversation is the best way to get her really interested in me. And then, when the conversation stops she'll come flying into my arms.

* * *

Today was supposed to be the first day that I put my plan into the works. Needless to say, it failed miserably. I decided to put to Remus' advice into action first thing in the morning since I need all the time I can get. Sirius finally gave me some input, that surprisingly wasn't degrading to my character, and advised that I play it cool.

So, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail and I walked into the Great Hall (casually and coolly, of course). On our way past Lily I commented (in the most casual/cool way I could) "Hey Evans, nice eyebrows." Three things happened at once. Sirius had a hacking coughing fit, Figg burst out laughing and Evans stood up gave me a look that would have frozen a chimera and left the room.

It wasn't until we found a spot at the table when Remus explained to me what exactly it was that I had done wrong. It turns out 'things that no one else notices' does _not_ include eyebrows or any other form of facial hair. And according to Remus, the way I said it made me sound like an idiot (which would explain why Figg is still laughing and why Alice and Frank can't get her to say what happened, which is fine by me. I have enough embarrassment as it is).

For the rest of breakfast I just stared into my bowl of porridge trying to figure out what was the easiest way to drown myself in it.

Note to self: Avoid sticking head in a hot bowl of porridge. It hurts and Sirius will bother you about it for the rest of the day.

* * *

It turned out that Evans had actually been trying to avoid me after the Eyebrow Incident, as Peter now refers to it. I honestly don't see what the big deal is! You make one bloody comment about someone's eyebrows and they're avoiding you like the plague. Well no one avoids THE James Potter!!!

Note to self (2): Do not say "THE James Potter" out loud as Sirius will make smarmy comment about speaking in the third person.

* * *

It wasn't until after the Transfiguration lesson that I was even able to attempt to apologize to Evans. Needless to say it went horribly wrong, as do most things that I attempt to do concerning her.

"Hey Evans, uh, could I talk to you for a second."

With a tinge of great exasperation she sighed, "What is it Potter?"

"Well, I'm sorry for complimenting you at breakfast. I didn't mean to talk about your eyebrows, honestly! It's not as though I started talking about a mustache or anything, not that you have one. I just wanted to show you that I noticed things that no one else notices and I couldn't find anything cause everyone notices everything about you cause you're not really conspicuous. Now if I started talking about your sideburns, then that would have been horrible…"

My rambling continued along this vein for quite some time. After about 2 more minutes I concluded with,

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that I'm really sorry about making you mad, although you do have lovely eyebrows."

Lily merely stared at me spluttering indignant unrecognizable words, obviously twisting the words of my beautiful oration in her equally beautiful head in a way that always leaves me feeling stupid.

"You prat!" she yelled and stomped off in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower leaving me trying to figure out what it was exactly that I had done wrong.

Me and my stupid mouth. Why doesn't it ever just stop moving?!? Before supper Remus was able to explain to me exactly what it was that I had done wrong. Of course in my stupidity, I ended up talking about her facial hair. What is wrong with me?!?

By the end of supper I was staring into the dregs of my gravy contemplating if I could drown myself in that.

Note to self (3): Do not attempt to stick head in gravy bowl. It will send both Sirius and Figg into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Not to mention, a strong desire to take a shower afterwards.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time: hogwartsian hobbit, misakichi1, All Star Seeker 21, Jane, glaz, SesshyLover, hunni07, Crookshanks87, YanLan and anonymous


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)

Rating: PG

Summary: "You know what she told me??? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter." James tries different approaches to get Lily to like him.

A/N: Hey! I finally decided to update. Unfourtanately for me, school is also starting this Friday and with college applications and everything I don't know how much time I'll have for fanfiction at all. I'll try to update as much as I can but I can't promise anything.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter? Belong to me? What have you been smoking?!?

**The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)**

**Chapter 3 – James the Unlucky**

****

At the moment I am very annoyed with Padfoot. After the whole attempted apology fiasco Sirius deemed it necessary to actually list reasons why Lily will never like me. He's been laughing about it like crazy all day. McGonagall asked him what was so funny after he broke into giggles for the 7th time during Transfiguration and when he showed it to her even she cracked a smile. I am doomed to live a lonely and loveless life. Woe is me! I guess I might as well show you the list. This way you can join Sirius and revel in my misery.

**Sirius' Top 10 Reasons Why Prongs Will Never Get Lily**

1. James is quite the prat. It is proven that prats never get the girl.

2. He's best friends with me. It's possible that Lily dislikes me even more than Prongs, although Peter assures me that that's not true.

3. James has asked Lily out about 35.5 times. She always says no.

4. Lily can be found telling Figg at various times that Prongs is a member of "the dregs of humanity."

5. James does not have the dead sexy/gorgeous sex appeal of the mighty Sirius Black.

6. James is being helped by Remus. No offense, but wolfie-boy hasn't had a date since 6th year. Scratch that, neither has James.

7. One can normally hear me going "God made Coke. God made Pepsi. How did God make me so sexy?" in an obnoxiously loud voice. Lily thinks Prongs is just like me. Prongs should really get better friends.

**SB's Note to self**: Ask Figg and Alice what's Coke and Pepsi.

8. I take it upon myself to hit on Figg at least once a day, no doubt she reports back to Lily.

9. Symbolically James is a stag and Lily is, uh well, a lily. A lily is vegetation. Stags eat vegetation. Hence, James thinks Lily is food. Will obviously not work out.

10. Did I say 10? I really meant nine.

See! I told you it was horrible.

**Note to self**: Get new friends.

* * *

Did attempt to get new friends. After Herbology I walked with Gideon Prewett back to the castle. He kept on giving me sideways looks as though I was trying to play some prank on him, which until a few months ago would have been highly probable. But now as Head Boy I try to keep the pranks to a minimum and then I make sure my name isn't obviously connected.

Anyways, halfway up to the castle Sirius started heckling at me.

"Oh, Jamie-boy! Yoohoo!! Why don't you walk with your other friends? I understand that you want to hit on Prewett but we miss you too!!!"

At that point I excused myself from Gideon and rushed over to shut Sirius up. Remus apologized saying, "We tried to stop him. Sorry Prongs."

Great, now everyone's going to think I'm queer. Just my luck.

* * *

More good news by the way. Sirius being the senseless being that he is "accidentally" left his "Top 10 Reasons" just lying about in the Charms corridor. And guess who found it? Of course Lily Evans found it, I have to be the most unlucky person in the history of Hogwarts. That's what they should call me James the Unlucky.

Well, after dinner in the Great Hall I was in total shock when Lily pulled me aside and asked if she could speak to me. The whole time she was biting her lip in the most adorable way. I was so focused on how cute she looked that I almost completely missed what she was saying.

"Potter I found that list that Black made. I was just wondering why you insist on trying to flirt with me when it's good knowledge that you're actually –well, gay!"

Wait! Hold up one second, Lily thinks I'm gay!

"What are you t-talking about?" I stammered. "I'm not gay! Honestly!"

Lily mered gave me what I suppose is her idea of a knowing look and walked away.

I, James Potter, have the worst luck.

**Note to self**: KILL Sirius Black.

A/N: I have no idea where I'm going with this story so if any of you guys have ideas feel free to throw them at me. Oh, and stupid me forgot who my beta was. If you're my beta just send me an e-mail so I can apologize for my idiocy.

And review! Those always make me happy!


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans) 

Rating: PG

Summary: "You know what she told me??? She told me to get over it! GET OVER IT! As if I could, how stupid can she be? Any other normal person would have given up long ago, but I am not any other normal person. I am James Potter." James tries different approaches to get Lily to like him.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I just simply forgot about this story.

Disclaimer: Mine???? Surely you jest.

**The Process of Getting Over Myself (or rather Lily Evans)**

**Chapter 4 - James the Queer vs. James the Straight-Arrow**

I was walking towards the Gryffindor common room, minding my own business when I overheard Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick talking. Normally I would have continued walking down the hallway, that is if I hadn't heard someone mention my name.

"Yes, well did you hear about that Potter boy."

"What are you talking about Filius?"

"Well, it turns out that he's actually gay. I honestly thought he was as straight as an arrow, but I guess you can't make any assumptions about people."

"What's wrong with being gay?" she replied quickly coming to my defense, or at least I hope she was.

"Oh nothing, I just never would have guessed especially since he's been after Lily Evans for the past two years, I was beginning to think he was obsessed."

Aware that I would be getting more than house points taken off if I was caught eavesdropping I walked pass the classroom as though no thing had happened and was briefly aware of the eyes of Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick staring into the back of my head.

A couple of corridors down I sunk to the floor letting my elbows rest on my knees. Goodness, everyone actually thinks I'm gay. Lily Evans actually thinks I'm gay!! The girl I've been pursuing for the past two years thinks that I prefer guys! And it's not like I'm obsessed with her. I don't have a statue of her in my closet compiled of all her used gum or anything. I don't even think I'm allowed to be obsessed with her if I "prefer" guys. A solution must be found.

I'm not going to botch this up by doing this myself, where the hell is Remus???

* * *

I found Remus, well technically Sirius found him. And guess where he was? He was in the History of Magic classroom with Jessica Finch, for quite a long time I might add. I would be feeling optimistic for Moony if I wasn't the only Marauder not getting any action, I mean even Peter's dating.

As can be predicted, Sirius has been bothering Remus about this for about fifteen minutes now.

"So Remus….in the History of Magic classroom, eh?"

Remus mumbled an inaudible answer

"Well, Professor Binns does turn on some people." He remarked offhandedly.

Remus blushed, something he hadn't done since 5th year, and began to splutter. You've got to feel sorry for the boy, Sirius isn't exactly the easiest person to deal with.

"Uh…well…not me…Jessica…" were the only words that we were able to make out of his incomprehensible mumbling.

"Jessica found history sexy?" Peter asked curiously

"Well it is a very sensual topic, what with all those goblin rebellions and…"

I cut him off there. I had to! I mean someone really had it in for the boy if he was acting like this. That, and I was seriously beginning to question his sanity.

"Never mind that Moony, I actually wanted to ask you a question. Well you know how Sirius told everyone that I was gay, right?" I took that chance to glower at him slightly before continuing, "Well, exactly how do I fix that?"

Remus looked thoughtful before Sirius shouted.

"Well that's simple!"

"Really?" Peter asked dubiously.

"Really, just leave it all up to me."

"I hope you understand my skepticism in leaving everything up to you after all, you are the one who put me into this mess. Nothing happens unless it goes by me first." I commanded.

"Fine, well you remember Jessica Stone right?"

I raked my brain for any memory of such a person when Remus said " Seventh year Slytherin, I think, a horrible gossip."

"Exactly, well she is just the person to go to if you want specific information or if you want to spread a little rumour. We get her to tell everyone that James is really straight and everything goes back to normal. It's completely foolproof!" Sirius finished looking quite triumphant.

There was silence in the room as we all turned it over in our minds.

"You know that's not such a bad idea." Remus said quietly

"Sirius, my friend, you are a genius!!" Peter exclaimed.

* * *

You should know already that most of Sirius' plans don't exactly work out. Well, this one wasn't an exception. From what I got from Sirius, he pretty much ended up selling me to a leather clad demon. From what he's told me, here's how their conversation went.

"Psst! Jessica Stone, please come and hide in this dark alleyway with me, so I can tell you a secret."

"Are you trying to be subtle, cause it's not really working you moron."

"No, I'm being blatantly obvious because it is not possible for me not to tell the whole world about my best friends social life."

"Oh, well I guess that's ok."

"Goody, now I must ask you to do me a favor."

"Favor? As I am a horrible Slytherin and you an idiotic Gryffindor I must demand something in return, but first tell me what you desire."

"You must tell everyone that James here is straight, or bisexual, whichever strikes your fancy really."

"Hmmm…I guess that's ok. But you must make your other Gryffindoric friend give me one favor which I am allowed to call in at any time."

"Well I don't know, even though you could be an evil Voldemort-follower or a sadistic woman obsessed with whips and bondage, I'm going to say ok.

"Wonderful."

Obviously, their conversation didn't exactly go like this. It was a bit more vicious, considering that she is a Slytherin. I know that Sirius was trying to get her to do something for him but honestly, a favor?!? Couldn't it have been anything else? For all I know, she wants me to get on all fours in leather and lick her toes. I tried to explain this to Sirius and all he said was, "Why would she make you lick her toes after getting you all dressed up. That's a good waste of leather."

Nothing really gets across to him.

* * *

I must admit that Sirius is good for some things. I might have overreacted just a teeny bit about the favor thingy. If you must ask why I changed my mind, the most wonderful thing happened today, no one thinks I'm gay anymore. Word spread like wildfire. Now I am no longer James the Queer but James the Straight-Arrow. Stone did her part and now I am a poster boy for being straight and everyone just thinks that Sirius is crazy, which isn't really uncommon. Sadly enough, Lily didn't really notice anything and when I tried to see if she knew (practically impossible since, gossip reaches even her) she pretty much told me to go try and drown myself in the Great Lake.

"Hey Lily" I said when I walked up to her, suavely of course. "You haven't heard anything about me, have you?"

Her response, "Potter bugger off, I'm trying to do my History of Magic homework so go drown yourself in the lake or something."

She's just a lovely girl.

* * *

A/N: Reviews really would be lovely... 


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